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so. today, i went to babysit for Samantha. I watched Emilee and Lilly. Emilee is a handful. wow. i had to get up there a bit early. I left Seattle at 4:30 to go up to Lynnwood. I saw a few weird things up in her house. I'm not going to talk about everything weird up in her house, but there were a few things.

We watched Finding Nemo first. We cooked some hawaiian pizza. yumm. Emilee tried to make Lilly eat dinner and Lilly ended up falling on the floor. So, I had Lilly crying. I told Emilee she shouldn't have done that. and she started crying saying that i made her feel bad. i ignored her....

afterwards, we went for a walk. we got some bread and fed some ducks. taht was fun.

this entire time... i was texting jackie. i texted her once asking if it was alright if i call her. she said that it was not necessary. that it would just be awkward because i would ask her if we were just friends and she wuold say yes and that would be it. i was thinking, "what???" we texted a few more times. she said that she thought it was weird after i took off after teh hug on tuesday after i dropped her off. (was she expecting me to stay??)

i'm stinkin' tired of girls and commitment right now. i'm feeling really strongly about going to some other university for graduate work. i've kind of been thinking so far that i'll do byu if i find someone that i want to stay with. but, otherwise, i've been thinking of going to some other college to do graduate work. right now, the girl life at byu is seeming really grim. especially with my mind set the way it is. i've been not liking girls lately nad not wanting any serious relationship with anyone. she'll have to be someone really nice in order for me to want to have a serious relationship with them.

i've been thinking of maybe UT at Austin. UC Irvine or UCLA would be nice. or maybe Berkley. There are a lot fo different places that I would like to go. I'll have to apply all over and see what happens.

I'm excited for BYU. Amazon is good (especially the money). But, it's not like BYU. I've enjoyed learning eclipse at Amazon this summer nad the practical software development and design skills that I've learned. that's all been nice.